Tha Nerve of You....

.....to raise your hand to answer that question
(do you even KNOW the right answer?!)
there are no books, just handouts, remember?!!

ceilings got psoriasis
toilets are broken, doors falling off
and you sit there plottin’ quads on
the x and y axis
you ain’t ashamed of all this?!


you’ve got some nerve!
who told YOU to
suggest the auditorium
for classes
like college
to educate the masses?

we’re squished like gumballs in a bubble
how dare you have study parties at
your place, Starbucks® or meet at the NYPL
…then ace the test the next day?!
you make me sick!

no more music or dance classes or
supplies for art
and never mind prom night, or a decent celebration
you’ve got the audacity
to mastermind a fundraiser; all hail the inspiration!

oh, and i guess you now have
a ‘respectful and supportive’ relationship
with your teachers, huh?
tee-hee-hee-hee….better late than nevah!

for real though, i heard
they may not be back next year
(after years of serving the largest school system In the
U
ny
ted
States of
America)

but the ‘cuts ain’t got nothin’ on you
‘walkin’ across that stage™
pretty soon
in June

hey, wait up! what should i tell
class of 2012?


Fun Fact: The New York City public school system is the largest in the US.


Thank you for reading.   ~Quelyn
 
Copyright©2011 Quelyn Purdie

Ordinarily Extraordinary

Ordinary – common, average, routine, usual
Extraordinary – amazing, exceptional, special, incomparable

We all have something in common: we breathe the same air, we eat, sleep, drink, blink our eyes, we laugh, cry, walk and talk. We were born from another human being. ‘Common’ is good because it gives a sense of togetherness, solidarity, relationship. We need these factors of life to survive. ‘So (why) isn’t that enough’ you ask? No really, I have heard people, especially young students like you, who want to do just enough to “pass” and live a “normal” life. Ok, this would be fine except….

….. too many of us who choose or have chosen to settle for ‘ordinary’ have become envious of those who recognize that there is something more to them, and strive to express the “extraordinariness” inside.

All of us – regardless of financial status, culture, skin tone, family background, gender - have that extraordinary gift or talent to share with others. Furthermore, I think you and I can agree there are countless stories of (ordinary or common) human beings who do extraordinary things. I am thrilled we can easily name three; go ahead, name three…wasn’t that easy?

And if we examined those we feel are extraordinary, we would discover a few things they have in common: 1) clarity of personal talent and purpose 2) they don’t quit, they give themselves a chance 3) they don’t waste your time 4) they produce results 5) others say they’re great. Extraordinary people also seem to be happy, don’t they?

Give Yourself A Chance
One of my passions is teaching. I believe that teachers along with parents are the most powerful external sources of education and human transformation. I teach middle school and high school students here in New York City and I tutor students in my community. Through several decades of teaching I have sharpened my skills and learned so much about myself as a teacher. Many times I was challenged by students in ways that would make others quit. But time and again I’d give myself a chance because I believe in my talent and I believe in the intelligence and greatness of youth.

According to others, I am really good at what I do. I’m best known, amongst clients and others who know me, as an educator. I’m also an entrepreneur, author and filmmaker (who is starving to direct another project!), but those things came years later.

The point is, the moment you give yourself a chance, not only will you attract the support you need but you will have blown the lid off your inner extraordinary just waiting to express itself for you. It’s never too late and you are definitely not too young! So how can we start the path of extraordinariness?


Teen Task
1. Give yourself a chance. 2. Jot down about 2 or 3 things about yourself that you feel make you extraordinary. For example; “I’m an extraordinary (dancer, math student, peer counselor, etc)” 3. Give examples of why you feel you are extraordinary, for example “I’m an extraordinary math student because I get 90’s and above in math; I’m on the honor roll, I tutor/help my classmates who ask for my help. 4. Discuss this blog with your parents or with those you feel safe sharing your thoughts.


Fun Fact: I first heard the phrase “give yourself a chance” from Tiger Woods who would use the phrase to describe the mental stamina and persistence necessary to win or excel. Such a simple phrase from an extraordinary human being.


Thank you for reading.     ~ Quelyn

Copyright©2011 Quelyn Purdie

L.L.…..

No not LL Cool J (sorry ladies!).

I'm talking about 2010. LEARN from it, and then LEAVE IT behind. You know the saying: ‘Don’t dwell in the past, let it go!’

For years I have made it a practice to do meaningful things, other than partying, to close out the old year so that I could 1) be free from the anxiety and uncertainty that change may bring 2) get excited about yet another opportunity to create an even better year for myself.


The way I would make peace with the previous year was, and still is, to first check myself for anything I did to hurt or diss someone’s feelings or a situation I could have handled better.  I don’t beat myself up but I trust and am honest with my self as I reflect and journal my thoughts ….then I let it go.


Let me interject something about the phrase ‘let it go’; I’d be remiss if I didn’t: Letting go is one of the most powerful and yes, difficult, principles of life BUT with right guidance and intention, it frees us up to truly experience the joy, health and creative expression that is our birthright. Ok, moving on….

Next, I recommit to building or revitalizing the major areas of my life that need a makeover, including appearance, personal finance, business, friendship/relationship and education (I’m currently studying for a major test coming up in June. Will keep you posted!).

So what have you LEARNED about yourself, event or situation you experiened in 2010? What are some things you can DO to make peace with it all and LEAVE IT behind...or let it go?


Teen Task: 1. Give yourself a chance. 2. Take a moment to contemplate (deeply reflect) each question above then jot down whatever comes up naturally for you for each question. Tip: Write non-stop for about 60 seconds for each question. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar, just write, get it out. You can proofread and edit your response later. 3. Discuss this blog with your parents or with those you feel safe sharing your thoughts.


Fun Fact: Remiss = negligent, inattentive, careless, lax.


Happy New Year!  Check back for Q's B-Spot 2011!    ~ Quelyn


Copyright©2010 Quelyn Purdie

Kanye West's RUNAWAY, The Film

The intent of this blog is to briefly discuss how to watch a film like RUNAWAY, vs. a critique of  the film. As a matter of fact, Kanye West makes it very easy for us in his interview with Sway for MTV. West breaks down the creative process and his vision as executive producer of RUNAWAY. The interview includes a discussion about topics such as stereotypes, the effects of bullying and how West used past faux pas which lead to vilification by the media and others, to create, what many in the industry have considered, a game-changer and an ambitious work of art in RUNAWAY.

Click here for Sway's interview with Mr. West >>>>> http://www.mtv.com/videos/kanye-wests-runaway/1650620/playlist.jhtml

Laced in colorful art and symbolism, RUNAWAY is a 35-minute portrait of attachment, loss, fear, pain, freedom and revitalization (in my opinion or '2 cents'!).  RUNAWAY challenges us to elevate how we watch film: with a more intellectual, inquisitive eye that will evoke lively yet intelligent dialogue…or compels us to take appropriate action.

Click here to see RUNAWAY >>>>> http://newsone.com/entertainment/newsonestaff4/kanye-west-fans-call-runaway-film-hands-down-amazing/

The following are some things to think about while watching a movie.  You will have a more thoughtful yet lively conversation with friends after the film, especially art films such as RUNAWAY:

1. Relatable – Can I relate to the film/filmmaker’s voice? (how they feel/express their opinion about the topic). What was my favorite scene and why?
2. Message – What is the message of the film?
3. Symbolism - Are there allusions (references or suggestions) to historical events, other films, famous people, etc. that would give us an idea where the filmmaker is coming from?
4. Music – Music, when used appropriately in film, is a critical part of filmmaking. How ws music used in the film? Was it necessary?
5. Cinematography - Is there anything interesting about the lighting, camera angles, the sound, colors chosen for costumes, sets, etc.?
6. Attitude – What is the film’s attitude toward humanity, love, men, women, children, animals, global justice, etc.?

Remember: There is no right or wrong answer, even though the filmmaker will have their own vision and intention for the film.

RUNAWAY is the prelude to West’s new, critically acclaimed album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. My favorite cut is Lost in the World.

Thanks for reading.    ~ Quelyn

Next on Q’s B-Spot: 2-Eleven

Teen Task: 1. Give yourself a chance. 2. How do YOU channel your own pain into passion? What makes YOU stand each time you feel knocked down? Jot down your thoughts in your journal. 3. Interested in making a film? In addition to tons of websites, books, and classes to choose from, there are hands-on opportunities to such as internships so you experience what it takes to do a film. For starters check out the following links! www.nycastings.com, www.mandy.com  4. Discuss this blog with your parents or with people you feel safe sharing your thoughts.

Fun Fact: RUNAWAY was shot in Hawaii, USA and Prague, CZECH REPUBLIC.


Copyright©2010 Quelyn Purdie

Bul%**#!

Adults do it too. And it doesn’t matter whether or not we know each other or for how long. We do it in the parking lot, at home, the supermarket, during the morning/evening drive to/from work, at college, church, beauty pageants/contests/auditions, the landlord, elections, nations, at the office, the subway, and so on.



I will leave the reasons to the psychologists and focus on helping you to channel your energy towards doing something more extraordinary. I do know that it has made many of us stronger and productive human beings, while others either perished or became bitter, drifting through life barely functioning.

Bullying. It happened to me in ninth grade.


Barbara was introduced to the rest of us in my gym class. I attempted to strike up a conversation; perhaps I was a little too chatty or she just didn’t want to be bothered. After awhile I saw the kind of people she hung around so I let her be. Then I discovered she was in my English class. She sat right behind me. I thought, “Oh great! Maybe she wants to be friends after all.” Hm!


One day, during the lesson I felt a swirling motion with a sharp object, like a pen, on my left shoulder. I was wearing a white blouse that day. When I turned to see what Barbara was using, she flipped the pen to make it seem as though she was using the back part of the pen. We did this several times until I pulled the cloth over my shoulder enough to see the ink marks. Back then we didn’t say “Oh hell no!” or “No you didn’t!” So for me it was more like “What the ****?” In a low tone I demanded that she stop writing on my blouse. Of course she denied it, loud and nasty too. Mind you, the teacher never said anything to us the whole time.


I turned back to the lesson and felt the swirling motion again. Suddenly I swung my left hand at Barbara and we began to fight. I had a secret desire that we’d go on long enough so I could take out all my anger, fears and stereotypes I experienced living in foster care on her face. So I tried to pull her down or flip her but our teacher had summoned the principal, who pulled us apart.

My classmates congratulated me for defending myself, but the principal still contacted my foster parents. I don’t know what my foster mother said (she was a head start teacher in the community) but I wasn’t suspended. Barbara never bothered me again and I stayed out of trouble by making new friends through the clubs I joined for example the drama club, the school chorus and the honor society, and it didn’t hurt to befriend Vickie, one of the most popular – and smart – girls at our high school. I loved Vickie because she never judged me and I wasn’t even cool like some of the other students she hung with!


The bottom line is I didn’t become a bully because of pain or anger nor did I allow myself to become a victim because 1) I didn’t want to jeopardize any possibility of returning to my biological family especially my dad 2) I had dreams of becoming an actress, although I didn’t realize my gift of teaching until later in life 3) I wanted very much to go to college.*

So for me, becoming a “bully” or a “victim” was not an option. I had (and still have) ‘things to do’!

I agree bullying has always been a part of growing up. We “size each other up” or test the loyalty of friendships or other relationships. So what’s the big deal? Today, the fatalities of bullying have reached such alarming rates it demands aggressive attention. Bullying has sparked a national call to action.


Beyond Labels
Growing up I was called every black snake, spot, dot, pan, puff o’smoke, midnight, you can think of. I’m about the same complexion as Naomi Campbell, maybe a (gorgeous) shade more chocolate. Anyhow, my foster parents exposed me to the positives of African-American culture and even though I still struggled with the stereotypes of living in foster care, I learned to embrace and love my culture. I also discovered that my skin tone has nothing to do with my ability to excel and be a productive human being.

The moment we label ourselves or accept others’ definition for who we are or words that do not express our inner beauty and talent, we give up power over our mental state and we participate in our own mental jail. It’s like holding our own selves hostage.


When you fill your days with other things like focusing on your talent or taking action steps towards making your own dreams a reality, you will no longer have the time to be bothered with making someone else suffer. It’s No wonder why we are in a constant state of dis-ease: we get fired up for the wrong things!


Really, though, I believe (great) teachers and most of society wants the best for you. We do value your existence and we do believe in your greatness. So, being a “bully” or “victim” are not options…because you’ve got ‘things to do’!


Thank you for reading. ~ Quelyn


*Read Validation Denied, Grace Bestowed:somewhere between the ghetto and God was something called foster care… a memoir by Quelyn Purdie


Next on Q’s B-Spot: Kanye West’s RUNAWAY, The Film

 Teen Task: 1. Give yourself a chance. 2. Everyday ask yourself the following questions: Who am I? Why am I here? What is my passion? Jot down answers that spontaneously arise for you.   3. Once a week or daily, jot down your experience, thoughts, concerns regarding bullying or being bullied. 4. Discuss this blog with your parents or with people you feel safe sharing your thoughts.


Fun Fact: According to PBSKids.org the word "bully" used to mean the total opposite of what it means now. Mid 1500’s, over 500 years ago, the root of the word comes from the Dutch boel which meant friend or lover. Not sure when or how we flipped the meaning.




Copyright©2010 Quelyn Purdie

School. Believe. Walk Across That Stage!™

When you think of school or education what’s the very first thing that comes to mind? A building with a lunchroom, gymnasium, classrooms…and the principle’s office? A teacher writing (an algebraic equation) on the board? Assignments and tests? How about your grandparents telling compelling stories about “back in the day”? Is school life? Or, is school all of the above?

As a teenager, I used to think school was a place, a building where we go to learn new things and if you “passed” you graduated (“passing” wasn’t good enough in our house – we had to excel – A’s and B’s). As I got closer to realizing my talent as an educator/teacher, I learned that school and education must include life experiences. I began to incorporate relevant life experience or examples into academic lessons and this became a major part of my teaching style. Furthermore, teaching became especially rewarding when my students responded to and appreciated the inclusion of personal anecdotes and hot news stories and gossip we hear in our daily lives. I also show students how life relates to the lesson at hand and why it is important to learn it.

When we change our perception of what school or education is, we open ourselves up to new, exciting and higher ways of learning and thinking. I truly learn something new every single day,

High school should be one of the most memorable times of your life. Demand it. Claim it. Don’t settle for less. Stay there and make it happen! To complete something whether it’s a task, assignment or goal and to do your very best, paves the way for great things to happen for you.

Change your view about school and your experience will probably become more meaningful and extraordinary in ways you never thought possible: you will attract appropriate friendships and support, you will enjoy learning, you will do better and experience a sense of accomplishment. Completion is a special sense of personal validation. Completion is dignity.

Do whatever it takes to complete. BUT do you……

BELIEVE. Do YOU truly believe you can stay and make it happen? Do YOU believe you can and will graduate?  Give yourself a chance. See, it’s not the bully or other haters, it’s not your family, not even your teachers. It’s you, in your own way. Get out of your way now, GO HARD with your studies and….

WALK ACROSS THAT STAGE!™   I can’t tell you how crazy it is to graduate with your classmates. Ok, I’ll try. Let’s see…it’s like…it’s like….ok, here, I got it! (I think). Ever been on a plane for the very first time, and either you are excitedly scared or just plain excited as the plane increases speed down the runway, and just as it begins to take off….

Ok, that’s all I’ve got for you; I’m sure you get the picture. Anyhow, congratulations in advance.

Thank you for reading. Let’s go!
~ Quelyn



Teen Task: 1. Give yourself a chance. 2. Read everyday: a good novel or two, the paper, magazines, etc. in addition to your homework. You will notice improvement in your ability to write more creatively, clearly and intelligently.   3. Once a week or daily, jot down your thoughts, ideas, concerns, even pleasant moments in your journal. 4. For study tips read or re-read May’s Blog: Close Your Books and Take Out a Pen or Pencil  5. Discuss this blog with your parents or with people you feel safe sharing your thoughts.





Copyright©2010 Quelyn Purdie

The Best Summer Ever!

Whatever you choose to do this summer you just want to unwind from the intense academic or work year you’ve had, and have some fun, right? And so you should! But we get so caught up in our plans that we forget to include safety and self-care in our activities. Whether you will be travelling out of town or staying close to home, below are a few safety and self-care tips I definitely use and think you will find helpful towards making your summer the best ever. As with anything, definitely double check the information and do your research.

Beat The Streets
1. Be aware of your surroundings, even your own neighborhood – you may know your ‘hood like the back of your hand but even if you are with someone, it still won’t hurt to let your eyes scan your block as you turn corners, or while crossing the street. Allow your eyes to sweep between cars, bushes, door steps, trees, etc. as you walk. Also if you sense someone walking behind you, give a casual glance over your shoulder, as you continue to walk; now they know you are aware of their presence.

One evening I got off the bus and as I walked down my block, I heard footsteps quicken behind me. Maintaining my pace (I believe when you run you invite a chase, make the person more angry and when or if they catch up to you the result is more fatal), I glanced over my shoulder at the person and they moved to the other side of the street.

 2. Change it up – when I ride the bus home I signal the bus to stop on a different corner every now and then. I am also lucky to have a flexible work schedule so I leave my building and return various hours any day of the week, thereby minimizing “surprise”!

3. No walking-text – I know it’s addicting and “conversations” get juicy but seriously, don’t text (or chat on your cell) while crossing the street or where there is public traffic. Stop somewhere safe to complete your texting. Remain aware of your surroundings while talking on your cell phone.


Wave Ur Hands In Tha Air (But Party Like You Really DO Care!)
1. Be alert – take note of emergency exits and security personnel at the club, party or gathering. So. if you see something that looks uncharacteristically out of place, or someone behaving in a manner that could harm others (or themselves), alert the host and any security personnel is available.


2. Drink responsibly –if alcoholic beverages are served do not drink to “get wasted” or “juiced” “crunked” or “####! up” An altered state of mind opens up opportunity for others to take advantage of you…or a more fatal result and, it just doesn’t look good.

All Aboard!
1. If you will be travelling out of town by public transportation, pay special attention to demonstrations or tutorials regarding safety. Hey, you never know – remembering (and doing) that one tiny-seemingly unimportant- thing the stewardess or conductor said or did could be the very thing that saves your life and others.


2. Trust “the hunch” – a few years ago I was exiting the subway in Manhattan and as I went through the turnstile I noticed a black attaché case stuffed between the high beam and ceiling. It looked out of place.  This is key, no matter how harmless something may seem.  Anyhow, there were a few cops chatting near the teller’s window and I told them. One of the cops, a woman, grabbed the bag from the ceiling and plopped it on the floor. Obviously it was harmless and she walked off with the bag. I did not feel stupid, in fact, I felt I did my job as a resident of this city. It’s not about looking good, it’s about doing what it takes to safely get to your destination…..and back.


How YOU Doin’?
1. Polish your swagga - your peers and others will “recognize” or respect you more when you hold yourself in esteem. Also, if someone in your crew is wildin’ out, check ‘em or let them know they can’t be with you – don’t join the negativity. Think about it: what kind of life do you really want? Constant drama and failure or support and success?


2. Your body, your temple – whether it’s a self-defense class, pilates or yoga class do something to strengthen and tone your body (and mind). It has been suggested to drink beverages that contain plenty of electrolytes after a workout because the beverages provide cellular hydration and replenish your energy. Also drink lots of water and eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. (Consult your physician regarding the appropriate diet and excersie for you).


Avoid overly risky behavior, for example eating too many mixtures of food all at once, or racing down the street on your new motor bike…without a helmet.


3. Get Ready to Stay Ready – use your summer down time to prepare for college, i.e., take a SAT (Standardized Achievement Test) prep class, visit colleges, practice completing college applications, etc. Build your resume by doing volunteer work in your community or getting a meaningful job. If you are an aspiring performing artist keep studying, auditioning and practicing your craft. Just keep learning and preparing, while you have fun.


For the young ladies and young men who have children: All too often I hear the phrase "once you have children you no longer have a life" or “the fun days are over”. I completely disagree. Becoming a parent does not mean the fun is over. I repeat: your fun days are not over. You will, however, need to create a new lifestyle which includes building a strong network of support and a new crew of friends who share your interests. Furthermore, you should design a strong relationship with your child(ren) by spending as much time with them as possible – learning who they are and the potential gifts they will one day contribute to humanity. So yes, your level of responsibility increases in ways the rest of us who don’t have children can not fathom. BUT you still deserve to enjoy life and…. have the best summer ever!


Thank you for reading.   ~ Quelyn


Teen Task: 1. Give yourself a chance. 2. Once a week or daily, jot down your thoughts, ideas, concerns, pleasant moments in your journal. 3. Read everyday: a good novel or two, the paper, magazines, etc. Your ability to write more creatively, clearly and intelligently will increase! 4. Discuss this blog with your parents or with people you feel safe sharing your thoughts.




Copyright©2010 Quelyn Purdie